It’s a hell that I can’t even explain,when will the lies stop. I hate myself but then I get the thought that they are to blame for it all not me and then it becomes my fault all over again. What is so wrong with me, have I gone insane or do I make myself seem like it to the point where I’m slowly becoming so. I have the urge to cut, cut so deep and let everyone know yet hide them just to see who does notice when I know no one will and ill be more upset about it and just cut again, I want to chug all the pills I have next to me as I write this and just does off into the slumber of death. I want to scar myself everywhere and walk down the road like a marked freak but I hate what others will think of me, I’ll hate the scars left behind. I wish I was skinny, I wish I was pretty, I wish I had bigger boobs and a smaller tummy, bigger lip, pretty eyes, straight pretty hair but none of it will ever happen because I’m a horrible mistake. I wish I could just die but at the same time I want to live, I want to live so bad but I can’t because I’m just not living, I’m just here…
You do not want to die you just want to be saved and I am here to help you. You are pretty. You are beautiful. You are a wonder because you are one in a million. No one else is like you. Do you realize how damn cool that is? Stop wishing for things that you do not have. And… instead of wishing, start working! Things take a lot of time and effort to change but they are worth it! start looking at life in a positive view and smile more! Do things that make you happy because life is way too short to want to be anyone else. Get help and don’t be afraid. Don’t ever look back either. This is the now and you are lovely the way you are.